Snowboarding!

J and I went snowboarding last Saturday. It was my first time ever! We've been wanting to do this for a while, and his dad, Jack, bought us season passes so we could! It was super generous of him. I've been skiing once before and have always heard that "skiing is easy to learn, hard to master; snowboarding is hard to learn, easier to master." Or something like that. :) I borrowed a board for my first day - we didn't realize it at first, but it had goofy bindings (right foot forward), and I ride left foot forward, but we would make it work.

I had never been on a bunny slope before (a practice, baby hill); when I went skiing, I went straight to a green circle. There are 3 types of slopes, a green circle (easy), a blue square (medium), and a black diamond (hard). There are even double black diamonds for super steep slopes, but those are the basics for all of you non-boarders/non-skiers out there.

So on Saturday, J, Jack, and I took a lift up to the top of the easiest green circle. I told myself I didn't feel nervous, but I think my subconscious actually did. I was also excited, tho; I wanted to get the first day over with so I could get over that hard "beginning" part and get to the fun enjoyment of the sport! I just wanted to make it through the first day.

I put my boots into the bindings of my board and felt the restraint of no longer having two separate legs at my disposal. I tried to stand up and succeeded after some effort. Immediately I started sliding on the ice toward the grassy edge near a little shack. How was I supposed to steer this thing?? I kept asking J to explain how it all worked - I SO have to understand how everything works, the physics of it all, to have it make sense in my mind. J wasn't much help, tho; he kind of just stared at me, "just get up and do it." I realized I was going to have to learn mostly on my own without instruction. J had only been snowboarding 5 or 6 times in his life and the last time was a year or two ago, so he was kinda relearning with me. BUT, he'd lived his whole life skiing! Yeah, I was great at skiing my first time, but what came intuitively for him didn't necessarily for me.

J kept asking me to just get closer to the crest of the hill - all I needed was a little more speed. We were just off the lift were there was only a slight incline. But I felt that if I couldn't steer or balance without going into the side here, I was NOT ready to go to the crest of the real slope! I had to get the feel of it first - I am intuitive and need experience feeling things out, if he couldn't explain them to me.

I kept trying and trying and practicing in my little "gutter" of the slope, and J was very patient with me. I remember finally just laying on my back in the snow, my muscles tired and almost paralyzed from the anxiety that I just wasn't getting this. A kind skier stopped by asking, "Is everything OK?" We assured him we were fine - I realized it looked like I had just taken a fall! Whoops, lol. Jack came back around on his second run and suggested we ride back down the lift and start at the bunny slope. I knew that was exactly what I needed. In the past, it would have hurt my pride to give up, but I've grown enough now to know that I need to do what I need to do. (I was also getting kinda light-headed from not eating enough, which is a bad sign for me.)

So we rode back down the lift, J & I. I didn't want to disappoint him, but he was fine with it. We talked it through - we talk everything through, get all the emotions out, which is something I value very much in our relationship. We went to the lodge and had a snack with his dad, resting a bit. I felt SO much better. My emotions are so affected by not having enough food! I also just needed to know I was safe and that everything would be ok. I knew that after I got used to the bunny slope, it would be.

So J and I hit the bunny slope. It was so much better! It wasn't as slick and icy as the crest of the hill, and it was just steep enough to give me enough speed to learn on. I took to it right away! I didn't fall much... unless other clueless beginners got it my way! I was better than most of them, tho, which made me happy. And J was having fun now, too!

It was there that I realized that my issue with steering was due to having goofy bindings even though I was riding regular! I had J try my board, and he noticed the difference right away. You're supposed to have your front foot at an angle and your back foot straight across the board, but mine were opposite - front foot straight and back foot angled. That could be an issue!

But really, I think my biggest issue was debilitating fear. When I felt like I couldn't do it at the top of the green slope, I couldn't; no matter how much I tried to convince myself, I couldn't overcome that emotion. I'm learning that sometimes, you have to give yourself some slack. Yeah, you can do anything if you believe it enough. But don't try to work up belief when it isn't there yet. I can't try to coerce myself into believing something. I need to spend time with God and let Him speak the truth to my heart. Once He assures me that "I am safe" and that "I can do it," and I really, truly believe those things, so much that they because part of my very nature, then I have gained true confidence.

Sometimes, you have to push yourself to go farther than you think you can - just do it. Other times, it's wise to listen to your feelings and realize you are in over your head. When you spend time learning from Jesus, you develop a level of trust with Him. That's faith. When you know you can hear Him, and you know you can trust Him, then you know beyond know beyond know that what He says will happen. That's faith. And faith like that can move mountains.

Faith isn't just believing in your head when your feelings disagree. Faith isn't just working up emotion to feel like something will happen when there's no reality to it. Faith is having trial-and-error experiences with God that give you a foundation of trust in both your head and your heart.

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe,^[a] all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23

I'm gonna kill those slopes next time - with my new, non-goofy board!! :)

- Kay