Christmas with a Kay

Merry Christmas, everyone!! It is now 18 minutes into Christmas 2011. This is J's and my first Christmas together and, as most couples know, sharing Christmas with two families can be complicated!

Here's the breakdown for this weekend:

Christmas Eve:

1. Exchanging my gifts with J's family
2. Christmas Eve service
3. Out for dinner with J's family
4. Going home and opening "one" (or 3!) gifts with my family (without J)

Christmas Day:

1. Making my traditional Christmas breakfast (sausage and cheese pockets)
2. Church with my family (since it's on Sunday this year)
3. Exchanging gifts with my family - with 6 siblings and 2 parents, that can take a while! J's coming over for that, too
4. Leave with J at 1:00 to go to his aunt's house (we may be late...)
5. Leave from there to go to my aunt's house with J around 5
6. Party till we drop!

Back and forth, here and there, this and that... There's a lot to do when you combine two families and their traditions. But I'm realizing that it's not a bad thing at all - there's no stress when you realize, this is fun! What's the worst that could happen, I'm a few minutes late to something and my family still loves me? Lol, what's new about that? And it's Christmas, after all... let's enjoy.

I been enjoying every second of it. From rocking J's 6-month-old niece to sleep (almost!), to good conversations over the dinner table, to staying up late with my siblings sharing the anticipation of Christmas morning, every second is ripe with enjoyment. If you don't enjoy it, then it's not worth it!

Ya know, every year I hear about not losing the "reason for the season" amidst all the hustle and bustle of holiday prep, but I think this year, instead of feeling guilty for not thinking enough about the birth of Christ, I'm going to rejoice in the blessings He's given me here and now - always remembering the Giver. How glad He must be to see me rejoicing in the gifts He has given me! That's my favorite part of Christmas, seeing the joy on my family members' faces when they open a gift well chosen. I'm sure God feels the same way.

Thank You, Lord, for the many, many amazing gifts You've given me! I treasure them every day, and even more so during this special weekend.

- Kay

Belief

I've got good news! J and I have successfully completed our first podcast!! Yay! So what we couldn't finish yesterday we got done today. I'm SO glad we didn't let circumstances affect our productivity!

J and I really believe we will succeed in putting up podcasts and vlogs on the internet. Because of that belief, "keeping the end in mind," we persevered and did it! If we got discouraged and let yesterday's experience affect our belief in ourselves and our ability to do what we set out to do, then we wouldn't have been able to accomplish our goal.

That brings me to an interesting topic: belief. What you believe directly affects your reality. I've been thinking a lot about this recently, and talking with J about it. Jesus said we could move mountains with our faith. With our faith! Not with trying super hard or concentrating intensely, but just in the confident belief that that mountain will be moved. Now, I'm not saying positive thinking is the key to success in life - it's all about what (and who) you put your faith in.

There's a lot of talk these days in popular culture and the media that tells you to "believe in yourself." I agree with that statement... to a certain extent. We have far more potential than we give ourselves credit for. God made us with so much more brain capacity than we actually use! Sometimes we're scared to reach our full potential, because we're scared to "try" or we lack the belief or motivation to stretch ourselves to our limits. A lot of times, we should believe in ourselves more. But, in addition to believing in ourselves and our abilities, we need to put our faith in God - He is ultimately the One responsible for any successes in our lives.

With God at our side, how can we do anything but succeed? "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Have a wonderful day - and believe!

- Kay

A Day in the Life

Today was insane. What a day. J & I were both so optimistic about how things would go today. We planned to spend the morning in the studio recording J's first podcast, and the afternoon in the studio finishing my vocals on two of our songs for our CD. We also wanted to upload 2 of those songs on mp3s to our E-junkie account. It was going to be such a productive day!

But… life isn’t always predictable. Actually, it’s, like, never predictable.

9:30am

We got to the studio and had a couple errands to run, got those done. We were all ready to record when we felt out of sorts with each other. J “hadn’t been able to read me” all morning, and I said I was fine, there was nothing to read… because I didn’t know how I was feeling myself, so how could he read me?

That is why think time is SO IMPORTANT!! It’s been a huge theme for our lives recently. Whether you spend think time journaling, praying, or just in quiet with God, it’s a necessity, especially if you are in a relationship, where communication is so important! I hadn't had any think time to myself since I'd woken up, and it was showing.

11:00am

After getting frustrated, we went out to the dock on the lake and talked it through – I so love that about J, he will put everything else aside to deal with the internal stuff going on inside. In fact, we were so successful at getting to the bottom of our frustrations that we “podcasted” about it on J’s phone! He whipped out his phone recorder and we talked about it, making a cool podcast – a sticky situation turned into a blessing! Right?

Wrong. It wasn’t really finished, it was more of a first draft, and there was wind noise too, so we really had to redo it to get it up to par. We had all day though, it was only about noon.

So we set up the studio with the mics and everything when I got ravenously hungry. My phone was dying and I didn’t have my charger, so we decided a break to go to J’s house and grab food and his charger was in order.

1:00pm

Now, here’s something few people know about me: I NEED MEAT. I need protein or bad things happen to my body! I’m very small with a super fast metabolism, and I don’t know what it is, but there’s some kind of meat-and-carb law about my body that if I don’t have both of them, my body freaks out. I feel light-headed and nauseas and kinda like I have a fever, like I have general pain and weakness in my body.

I conveniently forget this fact, even tho my body has tried in vain to drill it into my thick skull! I couldn’t find meat, so I had bread and tomato sauce – all I had for breakfast was a bagel, so about half an hour later I had a weird sugar rush and had to lie down! I felt awful. J and I have found that Boosts (nutrient- and protein-rich drinks) work WONDERFULLY when this happens to me – they are life savers! So he brought me a Boost, I felt instantly better, and fell asleep for an hour. Meanwhile, J did some research on how to market podcasts and the best way to post them online.

4:30pm

After doing some chores for J’s mom, we realized I still needed to get my snowboarding season pass, and had to go in person, so we went to Mountain Creek to do that. We felt like we had the rest of the evening to get stuff done, and we should really pick up my pass before Christmas.

6:00pm

I apparently hadn’t learned my lesson about eating, because on our way home, I got some hash browns from Dunkin Donuts and by the time we got back to the studio, I had another sugar rush and crash. And the Boosts were back at J’s in my car! J quickly scrounged up some ground beef and cooked it on the stove for me – the studio has a kitchen, it's the bottom floor of a house – and I felt better again. Man, my body is SO annoying sometimes!! I guess actually eating a decent meal would help, tho :-P

7:30pm

By now, we still needed to lay my vocals and redo the podcast. While recording me, we realized we couldn’t post those songs tonight – they SO weren’t mixed properly yet, and we want to redo 2 of the songs with our band, so it was pointless to work on them for final tracks at this point. We laid some scratch tracks and moved on.

9:00pm

Onto the podcast… Ok, you have NO IDEA what a struggle that was! Between technical difficulties, tired brains, and frustrated emotions, it was tough, but we persevered. We tried our absolute hardest to put together an awesome podcast for you: explaining who we are as J & Kay, what our goals for our podcasts are, some lessons we’ve been learning. We got some tracks down, in one take, even - THAT'S not the hard part. But the quality of the recording was terrible. Terrible! We couldn’t get the distortion out of the mics, before or after recording. Even redoing what we had just done for the last half hour was pointless because it would just happen again. We were getting too burnt out to keep going, so even tho we're both excessively stubborn, we decided to call it a night and go home.

11:00pm

Now, we’ve left the studio, and I realize that sometimes, you just have to keep on keepin’ on, get yourself out there, and press through the opposition and distractions. Some things you just have to chalk up to experience: we learned a lot tonight, about who we are, how we react in frustrating situations, and how we want to do podcasts in the future. And really, at the end of the day, I can still say this: Following your dreams is worth it every step of the way. And I'd rather do this every day alongside J than do anything else without him.

:)

Never Fear

I've been thinking a lot about fear recently. J has been helping me get to the bottom of my fears. I don't like to think of myself as a fearful person, but sometimes I am in denial of things, and that shows me that I don't want to face something - I'm afraid of it.

I've noticed that fear in my life is often based on lies. If I dissect my fear, really get to the heart of it, I usually find that it's all just smoke and mirrors - there's really nothing there to be afraid of.

So here is my formula for what to do when you’re afraid:

1) Get out a pencil and write out what you are afraid of - really break down your fear. Figure out the branches, stem, and root - make a diagram of it and figure out what the ROOT of the fear is.

2) Analyze the root of your fear. Is there any substance to it? Or is it based on a lie?

3a) If the root of your fear is based on a lie, find the truth statement that combats that lie: for instance, if you believe the lie that no one loves you, remember what God says in Jeremiah 31:3, "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you." Even if it feels like no one loves you, God does. Search for the truth to expose the lies that you believe for what they really are!

3b) If the root of your fear is true, ask yourself what you can do to change it. Hope is never lost! If you really did do a horrible job on your last musical solo, ask someone how you could improve next time, or analyze a video recording of yourself to see how you can do better. If, on the other hand, the solo hasn't happened yet - your fear isn't based on a lie or a truth but on an unknown - ask yourself, "what's the worst that could happen?" If you do horribly on a solo, oh well, there's always next time. If you're afraid about your safety or a loved one, remember that you and they are in God's hands. Find a Bible truth to combat that lie as well.

4) Repeat and remember the truth statements you've memorized. Really analyze every part of them until you know-beyond-know that they are 100% true! Just repeating them isn't enough; you need to be fully convinced that the truth is the truth and that it is true in YOUR life!

PS: There is no fear in love. If you have been thinking about yourself too much, perhaps that is the root of your fear. Do something nice for someone else without expecting anything back or receiving any credit. Start thinking about those you love and how you can make them happy today.

You'll find that, in the face of Truth and Love, the fears and insecurities you were facing won't last long!


Check out J's blog, too - he recently posted about this topic: http://insplore.blogspot.com/

Let me know what you think or if you have any advice for me, too!

- Kay

Our Story, Part 5

A few weeks after Jason and I had our little non-date at the diner, I remember him coming over to me at House of Prayer as I was journalling, and he asked to sit next to me on the floor. We spent a little time journalling together, and a couple from my church came over to greet me warmly. I stood up and was talking to the wife when another dear woman from HOP came over and gave me a hug. "I love this girl so much!" she said. "Whoever God has for you to marry is going to wake up every morning thanking God for giving him this beautiful princess," or something like that. I blushed, hoping Jason was far enough away and engrossed enough in his journalling that he didn't hear.

By the time I sat back down to journal again, J had gotten up to worship or journal elsewhere. I was ok with that; he was my friend, I was comfortable if he wanted to hang around but fine if he didn't. I kept journalling.

Well That Was Awkward

I was doing Night Watch at this time, going to bed at 6am and waking up around 2:30 in the afternoon. Me and my darling cousin Hope were interns with 3 others who "kept the fire on the altar" and spent the night hours praying, worshipping, studying the Bible on our own, journalling, and keeping the doors open so people could come and pray in the night & early morning hours.

On Tuesday, I woke up and texted my best friend, Fee. "Jason's such a sweet guy. He journals just like me, and he wants to visit youth group to see Franki!" (Franki was one of our mutual friends at my church's youth group). UNFORTUNATELY, I was also texting Jason at the same time, about the next day's worship set, and I got mixed up and sent the text to the wrong person!! Jason got the message that I think he's a sweet guy!

I was SO embarrassed, I apologized to J, telling him what happened and he said it was no big deal, he's done that before, it's an easy mistake to make. I remember shrieking into my pillow at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, sleeping over Hope's house, waking her up and going ballistic. "I can't believe I just did that!!! Do you think he thinks I like him??" Hope was like, "You're over-reacting, Kristina, I'm sure it's going to be just fine," as she rolled groggily out of bed. It took me a while to get over it, but looking back, it really wasn't as big of a deal as it seemed!

The Call

The next day, Jason and I were there alone to lead the day time set again. I don't think anyone came. We sang together, and then I left for the mission where I volunteered (Wednesday was my volunteer day). I forget specifics about that day, but after a long day of waking up "early" (12:30), leading worship, and doing the after-school program at the mission, I took a nap around 9pm before heading into "work" at midnight for the Night Watch shift. (It was kinda a crazy season of my life. But I loved every minute of it!)

During my nap, I got a phone call from J, but I was too tired to answer. About twenty minutes later, I couldn't really fall back asleep so I listened to his voicemail. He said he had a question for me, and sounded like he was nervous and trying not to be. I felt bad for him, he sounded so sweet, I didn't want him to be on pins and needles waiting for my call. So I called him back... wondering if the question was what I thought it was, but also not really expecting it to be.

I told him I had been napping but got his voicemail. He pretty much got right to the question: "So, I was wondering, if I could take you to dinner sometime?" I was surprised how much I just took this in stride, since I'd never been asked out by someone I was actually really interested in before. "Well, what are your intentions?" I asked him. "I'd like to get to know you better," he answered. "I would like that. But anyone who wants to take me out to dinner has to get my dad's permission first. I'm kinda old-school that way." I was thinking, 'This is it; if he thinks I'm old-school, whatever, but he has to pass this test.'

He replied, "I'm up for that, that sounds great. When can I talk to him?" That was the first time I got a taste of J's "whatever it takes I'm willing to go for it" attitude. I really love that about him!

We tried to schedule a night, realizing Friday nights would probably be best - remember, I was doing Night Watch and a million other things. My family has Movie Night every Friday and it's always an open invitation to have friends over, so I felt like it was the least awkward way of having J meet my dad. He agreed. BUT, I had events going on the next 3 weeks, so it would have to be almost a month before he could ask my dad! He was ok with that, too.
---------------------------------------------------

What would it be like to hang out with him in this in-between stage, when we weren't going out but we knew we might?

I'll be looking at the moon

One night a couple weeks ago, after recording until we were exhausted, J & I drove to his house in our separate cars. It was midnight, and a bright, nearly-full moon was out, accompanied by many stars.

It was brisk, but not cold. As I gathered my purse and keys from my van, J opened the door and ushered me into the still night air.

"I'll be looking at the moon... but I'll be seeing... you... " the mellow tones from one of our favorite old classics streamed from his open jeep door. "Care to dance?" he asked me with a whimsical smile, twirling me around.

We slow-danced to the gentle tune in the middle of his quiet street, telling each other how much we love and appreciate each other. It was very sweet.

The lake shimmered under the soft starlight. The moon had run away, but that didn't matter to us anymore. It was a magical time. J's sweetness and authenticity brought tears to my eyes.

"Where did you come from?" I asked him, shaking my head at the wonder of it. J smiled down at me lovingly. It was our favorite part of a wonderful day.

JandKay.com revamped and other updates

It's been an extremely busy couple of weeks for J & me at our jobs, and this weekend we are playing at 3 venues to boot!

Friday night we are performing at Rock the Mountain Cafe, an open mic hosted by Scott Carmichael. This is always a fun event, with free admission, free food, and great music!

Saturday, Oct. 22, we will be at the 3rd annual "Night Music," doing some of our own stuff and collaborating with Scott Carmichael and Nick Padovani. The evening starts at 6:30 with a silent auction, then continues at 7:00 with contemporary, country, folk, and classical music. Wanna come? You should!

For more info on these events, visit www.JandKay.com/#!gigs.

Then from Sunday-Tuesday we are once again leading the worship for Young Life's Staff Retreat. It's such an honor that they have asked us back!

J and I have been working on our new website format, vamping it up. Check out www.JandKay.com and let us know what you think. We also have mobile formatting so check us out on your smart phones!

Things are going swimmingly for J & me in our personal lives. However, last week was a very difficult week for us: because of work, we didn't get to see each other for 8 days straight - I think that's a record! But we've made it a point to schedule a date night on Monday (tomorrow), which we are both super looking forward to!! :-)

Blessings!

~ Kay